Something is missing

I have those feelings all the time, like something is missing in my life. I have everything I can possibly need. The thing that is missing must therefor be something I could live without.

Since this second child, quitting smoking, loss of the one friend I thought would always be there, I don’t have a single thing going on apart from being home and being a mom.

I havn’t lost any pregnancy- weight any longer, it’s back again. I think I have some kind of repressed depression and if it ever decides to surface, I have no idea what to do.
I am happy, that is not the problem here, the problem is that I have lost myself along the way. I’m not happy with my lifechoices and they way I turned out. Still I feel like it’s to late to change. I want to change my life, leading up to the kiddos. I wouldn’t change my family 🙂

But I wish I would have cared enough about myself all those years ago, to actually become someone….

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